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WACKY
REAL NEWS
HEADLINES:
Milk drinkers are turning to
powder
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second time In Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection From loved One
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Queen Mary having bottom scraped
Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
Child's stool great for use in garden
Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Tiger Woods Plays With Own
Balls Nike Says
Include Your Children When
Baking Cookies
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Safety Experts say School Bus Kids should be Belted
Eye Drops off Shelf
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One
Dies
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Air Head Fired
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Organ Festival Ends in Smashing Climax
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at
Noon
Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let's Resolve to Do Better
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney
from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling of Isolation
March Planned For Next August
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
Stadium Air Conditioning
Fails--Fans Protest
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